The Sideline-Scold Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Stafford finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- Stafford will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
- Stafford will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
88%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Giants fan
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A used challenge flag
- A single Bills jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stafford's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.