The Inch-Short Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“At 33, Evans is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- Evans does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
- Evans is already "Out" with that achilles. The witch only has to push gently.
72%POTENCY
-10.9PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Buccaneers locker room
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Evans's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.