The Phantom Holding Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“Evans finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- Evans is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- At 33, Evans is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
83%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single tear from a Bills fan
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Evans's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.