The Butter-Finger Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“Evans's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- Evans sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Evans finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Evans's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.