The Inch-Short Hex of Mike Evans
Mike Evans · SF · WR
“A mysterious flag erases Evans's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Evans's week
- Evans scores a 60-yard TD. It is called back for holding on a guy named Gary.
- At 33, Evans is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
81%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Vikings locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A single tear from a Titans fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Evans drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Mike Evans in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Mike Evans is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Mike Evans actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.