The Phantom Flag Hex of Parker Washington
Parker Washington · JAX · WR
“Washington finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Washington's week
- Washington does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
- Washington is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
73%POTENCY
-17.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Washington's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Parker Washington in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Parker Washington is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Parker Washington actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.