The Inch-Short Hex of Parker Washington
Parker Washington · JAX · WR
“Washington gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Washington's week
- Washington gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
- Washington is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
81%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Washington, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Parker Washington in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Parker Washington is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Parker Washington actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.