The Late Scratch Hex of Parker Washington
Parker Washington · JAX · WR
“Washington goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Washington's week
- Washington will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Washington will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
75%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Washington drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Chris Olave
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FAQ
How do I curse Parker Washington in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Parker Washington is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Parker Washington actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.