The Butter-Finger Hex of Parker Washington
Parker Washington · JAX · WR
“Washington gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Washington's week
- Washington finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Washington will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
86%POTENCY
-14.1PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Broncos locker room
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Washington drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Puka Nacua
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Parker Washington in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Parker Washington is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Parker Washington actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.