The Garbage-Time Hex of Seattle Seahawks
Seattle Seahawks defense
“The Seahawks defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Seattle Seahawks defense's week
- The Seahawks defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Seahawks defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
89%POTENCY
-18.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Seahawks's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Jadarian Price
- Sam Darnold
- Zach Charbonnet
- Jason Myers
- AJ Barner
- Rashid Shaheed
- Emanuel Wilson
- Cooper Kupp
- Tory Horton
- Ricky White III
- Nick Kallerup
FAQ
How do I curse Seattle Seahawks defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Seattle Seahawks defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Seattle Seahawks defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.