The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Woody Marks
Woody Marks · HOU · RB
“A backup RB with an unpronounceable name will score twice on 6 carries. He is on nobody's roster.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Marks's week
- Marks finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Marks will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
89%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Marks's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Woody Marks in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Woody Marks is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Woody Marks actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.