The Late Scratch Hex of Zachariah Branch
Zachariah Branch · ATL · WR
“Branch gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Branch's week
- Branch finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Branch is already "Out" with that hamstring. The witch only has to push gently.
88%POTENCY
-11.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Colts locker room
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Branch's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Bijan Robinson
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Zachariah Branch in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zachariah Branch is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zachariah Branch actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.