The Late Scratch Hex of Zane Gonzalez
Zane Gonzalez · MIA · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Gonzalez is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Gonzalez's week
- Gonzalez finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Gonzalez warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
76%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Gonzalez's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
- Evan McPherson
- Andy Borregales
- Kaytron Allen
FAQ
How do I curse Zane Gonzalez in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zane Gonzalez is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zane Gonzalez actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.