The Shank Hex of Zane Gonzalez
Zane Gonzalez · MIA · K
“A mysterious flag erases Gonzalez's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Gonzalez's week
- Gonzalez gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Gonzalez's stadium. Only over Gonzalez.
85%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Gonzalez drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
- Harrison Butker
- Evan McPherson
- Andy Borregales
- Kaytron Allen
FAQ
How do I curse Zane Gonzalez in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zane Gonzalez is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zane Gonzalez actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.