The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Ref: "Number Bachman, that's a flag." Bachman: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Bachman gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
88%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bachman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.