The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- A mysterious flag erases Bachman's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Bachman is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.
73%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bachman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.