The Phantom Holding Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bachman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
77%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bachman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.