The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Ref: "Number Bachman, that's a flag." Bachman: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- A mysterious flag erases Bachman's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
74%POTENCY
-13.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Eagles locker room
Incantation
Eye of Colts, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Bachman scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.