The Snap Count Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- The broadcast shows Bachman on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Bachman gets 11 targets and catches 3 of them. The other 8 are "contested".
88%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bachman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.