The Shadow Coverage Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Bachman gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
88%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bengals locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bachman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.