The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Bachman is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
73%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single tear from a Falcons fan
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bachman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.