The Hamstring Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
86%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bachman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.