The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
- The QB looks at Bachman exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
72%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Ravens locker room
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Bachman, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.