The Phantom Holding Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bachman gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
92%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bachman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.