The Butter-Finger Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman gets 14 targets in garbage time with the game already lost. Points: 3.8.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bachman sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
92%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bachman drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.