The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman scores a 60-yard TD. It is called back for holding on a guy named Gary.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
87%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Bachman, Bachman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.