The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wake Forest's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bachman gets 11 targets and catches 3 of them. The other 8 are "contested".
73%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Bachman, Bachman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.