The Inch-Short Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Allen gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
82%POTENCY
-9.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.