The Late Scratch Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Allen is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.
73%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Giants, tongue of ref,
Bring Chiefs down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.