The Butter-Finger Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.
- Allen tears an uncatchable ball out of the air and... steps out of bounds. By a toe.
80%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.