The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Cyrus Allen
Cyrus Allen · KC · WR
“Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Cincinnati's biggest rival.
92%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Kenneth Walker III
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Cyrus Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Cyrus Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Cyrus Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.