The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Cowboys defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
78%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Titans jersey, ironically worn
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cowboys's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.