The Garbage-Time Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
- The Cowboys defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
75%POTENCY
-12.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cowboys drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.