The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Cowboys defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
74%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Cowboys, Cowboys, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.