The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Cowboys defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
72%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cowboys, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.