The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Cowboys defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
80%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cowboys's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.