The Doink Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“A mysterious flag erases Bates's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
91%POTENCY
-12.9PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.