The Phantom Flag Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
88%POTENCY
-17.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single tear from a Jets fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.