The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
90%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.