The Upright Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
87%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.