The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
92%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.