The Shank Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
85%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.