The Hamstring Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Bates gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
89%POTENCY
-12.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.