The Shank Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
74%POTENCY
-9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.