The Hamstring Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Ref: "Number Bates, that's a flag." Bates: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
83%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A single tear from a Rams fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Bates drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.