The Late Scratch Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
92%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Bates, Bates, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.