The Hamstring Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Bates trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
- Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
90%POTENCY
-10.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Bates's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.