The Shank Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Bates. Bates does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
83%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bates drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.