The Wide Left Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Bates is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Ref: "Number Bates, that's a flag." Bates: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
82%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Bates, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.