The Upright Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
92%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bates's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.